Stuff Asperger People Like

Sandy Austin whanau on Flickr

Clothes may make the neurotypical man or woman, but they will never make the Asperger person.

Aspies generally have no use for the latest fashions, and would prefer to wear clothing for comfort and practical purposes.

Much to the disappointment of the Asperger’s friends and family, the Aspie will continue to dress him or herself for these comfort and practical purposes even after constant reprimands, lessons, and downright rude comments.

An Asperger female may find herself at a greater risk, as the neurotypical female species place more of an importance on clothing and style. As one male once stated, “A man would not think twice about wearing the same thing twice in a week. A girl would think it was horrible to wear the same thing twice in a month.” 

So when an Asperger girl wears her favorite pair of pumps with every outfit-including her jogging pants-nasty words are going to fly.

Ditto for untucked shirts, colors that don’t match, clothing with rips and tears, or that same pair of black pants that has been washed so many times, it is now gray.

Many helpful hints will be passed on to the Asperger, such as “Look through the latest fashion catalogues and copy your wardrobe like theirs.” Some will comply, with graciousness or annoyance.

A good way to cease these nagging, or, uh, helpful hints, is to follow the advice given. A smart Asperger would go out and find a fashion magazine and plan their wardrobe exactly after the models. The best brand to model after is Victoria’s secret, especially for men. Once an Asperger’s parents see their son in pink wings and a push-up, they might back off and make a deal that you only have to be mindful of clothing for a job interview or work itself, not going to the friggin’ grocery store.

Adult costume stores are also a good place for ideas. You could put together a nice outfit based upon dozens of characters, from “Naughty Nurse,” to “Temptress Teacher.”

Both of the above are sure to please those who are concerned about the Asperger’s fashion tastes. Victoria’s Secret never carries yesterday’s fashions. And sex shop costumes might be very open and revealing in various places, thus preventing any tight feelings on the skin for those with sensory sensitivity issues. If there are any objections, remind those around you you’re simply following their advice. And that the outfit you’re wearing matches, which is by far the most important thing.