#30 Electronic Communication: Email, IM, And Texting Oh My!
Written by SAPL on December 31st, 2008 in Communication.
Image: Uberushaximus on Wikimedia Commons
You know that guy. Like many Asperger people, he shies away from oral communication and speaks his mind with the keyboard. He thinks texting should be a recognized foreign language. He might text his wife when she’s cooking in the kitchen at home when he’s away for long distances such as the bedroom upstairs. He will engage in a 20 minute back and forth email conversation when it could have been done face to face in five. Especially considering his office is right next door to yours. So close, you can even hear him typing his next response.
Asperger people are notoriously known for their preference to communicate through mediums other than saying it to your face. You have to understand that sometimes the regular mode that neurotypicals use to communicate are problematic for the Aspie as there are distressing phenomenas such as facial expressions to be deciphered and double entendres to catch onto. Not to mention the fact that neurotypicals can be demanding and require the Aspie to look them in the eye, (although get irate when you stare at them too hard and long) and gasp…even smile. Ludicrous!
To circumvent this problem, Asperger people use various electronic communication to get the conversation going. And remaining.
Online dating was probably invented by an Aspie.
The romantic partner of an Asperger might find themselves frequently engaged in hot, passionate, amorous activity with the Aspie wearing nothing but his wireless mouse. After protesting that he only talks to her on Yahoo Instant Messenger when he wants to talk dirty for hours, he may defensively say he is performing his “manly duties” and couples should be romantic regularly. After background checks reveal no wife, and stalking, or uh, research reveals no other female in the picture, she may gently remind him of the fact that since they’ve been dating, they rarely have any face to face encounters, although countless hours of instant messaging. It’s hard to stay romantic when you never see a person, you know.
Not to fear, as this is no barrier the relationship cannot overcome. That’s why web cams were invented.
August 30th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
fabulous… !!!
October 14th, 2010 at 10:45 am
I think one reason for this that’s often overlooked is how difficult it can be for an Aspie to think on his feet in a social situation. If you are very distracted and/or nervous when speaking to someone, you are not able to say what you need to say and listen to what the other person says. It’s much easier to take the time to write it in an email or a text and “converse” that way (taking as much time as needed to read and understand the other person’s response). The downside is that there is a tendency to be too blunt or argumentative in email than one would be face-to-face. This is a problem for NTs as well, but is especially tricky for those with Asperger Syndrome who tend to already be quite blunt.
August 9th, 2011 at 12:12 am
In addition to the “difficulty thinking on our feet” comment above, Aspies (such as myself) also like to have a written record of the conversation that took place for future reference. Being preoccupied with facts, this means no one can twist our words or insist that we said something different than exactly what was said.
August 28th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Look i’m typing now ! so enjoying this….. Don’t feel so alone now.
December 30th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Hahahahaha! Definitely sounds familliar. Everyone is always telling me I text and email too much when a simple phone call or face to face conversation would suffice. I have a friend who hates that I text them too much, and we’re constantly battling over me changing my texting habits.
April 30th, 2012 at 3:50 pm
and with texting and typing u can correct spelling mistakes, look over what your saying before u say it, cause we do realize sometimes we may say the wrong things socially. or get in to ramble mode and pour out our hearts and minds in a typing frenzy when we have a thought in our mind that is just dying to get out before we get distracted by ooohh look the birds are outside my window eating breadcrumbs 8)