#16 Different Couple Living Arrangements
Written by SAPL on August 11th, 2008 in Marriage and Dating, Socialization.
Planet Holiday
Contrary to what some think, Asperger people do indeed get married and have families. However, these living arrangements or the state of the household may be a little different than your neurotypical situation. Due to the Asperger’s intense need for solitude and being left alone for a good portion of the day, Asperger people may not interact with their neurotypical or even fellow Asperger partner in what is normally expected.
For example, one Asperger may say to his/her partner, “I like to have a lot of alone time. So, Just because we’re in the house together, doesn’t mean we have to interact.” There may be arrangements of sleeping in separate beds, eating alone versus together, and in some cases even having 2 completely separate homes or apartments even though they are married.
Although the neurotypical spouse may not even know why the Asperger partner is so damn weird, he/she may very well adapt and try to understand, thus having an “unwritten” agreement. However, it never fails that some nosy neurotypicals with no lives will find out about the “weirdness at 2525 Otherwise Non-Freaky Neighborhood Lane,” and begin to talk. They may start to have “heart to heart”, which is more like “headbutt to headbutt” conversations with the neurotypical and Asperger partner, desperately trying to incite change even when both partners are happy.
Truth be told, these neurotypicals are just jealous. Susie wouldn’t mind peace and quite versus a groping and demanding husband at home every evening at 7:00PM. Harry down the street knows he too could benefit from a separate bed and thus avoiding his wife’s jittery restless legs kicking him in the crotch every morning or being awoken by her loud farts in the middle of the night. But remember, neurotypicals care too much about what is socially appropriate. Either that or Harry is looking for a way out of the 4th child he promised his wife.
August 13th, 2008 at 6:10 am
I know this is true! Jim the Aspie and his girlfriend who is also something wrong have slept in separate beds, separate rooms and yes YES! separate apartments! Actually, Bonnie wanted to be alone, so Jim moved back in with his parents and paid for Bonnie to live in an apartment by herself.
Then they moved up to Alaska, rented an apartment, everything, and Bonnie said she didn’t know if she could do it, and so they came back to Georgia without ever moving in and decided to wait another 3 years. And then they moved up there. Then she got another apartment by herself and he paid for it.
September 6th, 2008 at 6:06 am
Bonnie is a something, that is wrong. She’s just wrong as in “Dude, that is just wrong!”. But she is also Jim’s girlfriend.
August 1st, 2012 at 4:29 pm
When I was engaged we slept in separate rooms and ate separate meals. But I didn’t realise I was Aspie then.