Stuff Asperger People Like

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The way to a man’s heart may be his stomach, but the way to an Asperger’s heart is through his head. That is, making it even bigger than it already is.

Although Aspies may be socially awkward at times, they are damn smart individuals, many having above average intelligence and being more likely to hold degrees than the rest of the population. Although they know how brilliant they are, they are always interested in being told so again and again.

While most neurotypical people enjoy hearing how they make a person feel good, have warm personalities, or are caring people, this does nothing for the Aspie. When trying to get in good with one, remember to always remind them of how much they know and preferrably how much more they know compared to you. This can be important to remember when in a relationship with any Aspie. Greeting card companies might want to take note and design slogans for Asperger cards such as, “When you care enough to tell them they’re the very best.” Anniversary cards for neurotypical spouses might get the job done with, “You complete me in every way. For that, I am thankful.” Anniversary cards for Aspie spouses should say, “You complete what I cannot do-and that is just about everything. For that, I am thankful.”

When trying to figure out a complicated computer task, you might find yourself asking for help from someone in IT who may have poor manners and even poorer choice in clothing fashion. By asking outright, you’re more likely to get the response, “I can’t believe he/she is so stupid he doesn’t realize that “blah blah blah and blah blah. And it’s so easy to find it on the 2 million support pages on both Suse Linux and Novell.”

There are much more efficient ways to approach the Aspie. Start off by approaching him or her and bringing up some random fact that has to do with computers and software. This will spark the Aspie’s interest (you are talking about their probable special interest after all) and make him much more receptable. Then begin the butt kissing. Some phrases to try and experiment with are, “You are so much more educated about these things than I am,” or “I’m stupid, but I know you have the answer,” or even “You will be the next Bill Gates.” You probably see the point by now. After you have complimented the Aspie a million times, he will be more than happy to assist you. 

He probably will also give you other advice and facts you never asked for and turn a 30 second answer into a 1/2 hour lecture.

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