Archive for December, 2008

#30 Electronic Communication: Email, IM, And Texting Oh My!

Written by SAPL on Wednesday, December 31st, 2008 in Communication.

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Image: Uberushaximus on Wikimedia Commons

You know that guy. Like many Asperger people, he shies away from oral communication and speaks his mind with the keyboard. He thinks texting should be a recognized foreign language. He might text his wife when she’s cooking in the kitchen at home when he’s away for long distances such as the bedroom upstairs. He will engage in a 20 minute back and forth email conversation when it could have been done face to face in five. Especially considering his office is right next door to yours. So close, you can even hear him typing his next response.

Asperger people are notoriously known for their preference to communicate through mediums other than saying it to your face. You have to understand that sometimes the regular mode that neurotypicals use to communicate are problematic for the Aspie as there are distressing phenomenas such as facial expressions to be deciphered and double entendres to catch onto. Not to mention the fact that neurotypicals can be demanding and require the Aspie to look them in the eye, (although get irate when you stare at them too hard and long) and gasp…even smile. Ludicrous!

To circumvent this problem, Asperger people use various electronic communication to get the conversation going. And remaining.

Online dating was probably invented by an Aspie.

The romantic partner of an Asperger might find themselves frequently engaged in hot, passionate, amorous activity with the Aspie wearing nothing but his wireless mouse. After protesting that he only talks to her on Yahoo Instant Messenger when he wants to talk dirty for hours, he may defensively say he is performing his “manly duties” and couples should be romantic regularly. After background checks reveal no wife, and stalking, or uh, research reveals no other female in the picture, she may gently remind him of the fact that since they’ve been dating, they rarely have any face to face encounters, although countless hours of instant messaging. It’s hard to stay romantic when you never see a person, you know.

Not to fear, as this is no barrier the relationship cannot overcome. That’s why web cams were invented.

#29 Dressing For Comfort And Practicality

Written by SAPL on Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008 in Clothing.

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Sandy Austin whanau on Flickr

Clothes may make the neurotypical man or woman, but they will never make the Asperger person.

Aspies generally have no use for the latest fashions, and would prefer to wear clothing for comfort and practical purposes.

Much to the disappointment of the Asperger’s friends and family, the Aspie will continue to dress him or herself for these comfort and practical purposes even after constant reprimands, lessons, and downright rude comments.

An Asperger female may find herself at a greater risk, as the neurotypical female species place more of an importance on clothing and style. As one male once stated, “A man would not think twice about wearing the same thing twice in a week. A girl would think it was horrible to wear the same thing twice in a month.” 

So when an Asperger girl wears her favorite pair of pumps with every outfit-including her jogging pants-nasty words are going to fly.

Ditto for untucked shirts, colors that don’t match, clothing with rips and tears, or that same pair of black pants that has been washed so many times, it is now gray.

Many helpful hints will be passed on to the Asperger, such as “Look through the latest fashion catalogues and copy your wardrobe like theirs.” Some will comply, with graciousness or annoyance.

A good way to cease these nagging, or, uh, helpful hints, is to follow the advice given. A smart Asperger would go out and find a fashion magazine and plan their wardrobe exactly after the models. The best brand to model after is Victoria’s secret, especially for men. Once an Asperger’s parents see their son in pink wings and a push-up, they might back off and make a deal that you only have to be mindful of clothing for a job interview or work itself, not going to the friggin’ grocery store.

Adult costume stores are also a good place for ideas. You could put together a nice outfit based upon dozens of characters, from “Naughty Nurse,” to “Temptress Teacher.”

Both of the above are sure to please those who are concerned about the Asperger’s fashion tastes. Victoria’s Secret never carries yesterday’s fashions. And sex shop costumes might be very open and revealing in various places, thus preventing any tight feelings on the skin for those with sensory sensitivity issues. If there are any objections, remind those around you you’re simply following their advice. And that the outfit you’re wearing matches, which is by far the most important thing.



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