Comments on: #24 Dating Themselves

By: steve_spyder

steve_spyder — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:28:11 +0000

as for touching, dont like being touched with out knowing im going to be touched, its the hypersensitivity. you know how some people like to tickle kids till they pee, thats torture specially to an aspie. my sons mother also was very senstive, i could practically give her an orgasm just by touching a certain spot below her ear. i had to get my sister to stop cutting my hair because of my reaction when she touched my neck.

By: steve_spyder

steve_spyder — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:23:55 +0000

I stumbled across this site looking up links to annoyed by clothing tags and link to autism/asperger. i try to explain to ‘normal’ people the way i am and act, knowing i dont act normal. and ive been told oh its stress or chilhood trauma. but i see the behaviour in other people like me that probably have aspergers and dont realize it. i know im different. but im happy about who i am, just understanding what the differences are over the last few years is making me more accepting of myself and behaviours. only took 40 years . we need a plentyofaspergers.com to compete with POF

By: MikeyG

MikeyG — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 07:39:34 +0000

Are you fucking serious? How is it bad to do things by yourself…wow dating yourself…what a retarded term…this “disorder’ is looking more like a way to bash people who dont think like you

By: Evan

Evan — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 18:03:20 +0000

Aspies don’t mind being touched. All you need to do is explain where you are going to touch them and why. First.

By: Violet Black

Violet Black — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 07:12:29 +0000

You’re probably long gone by now, Ms. Cat, but I’ll answer as a probably-Aspie female who is very averse to physical contact compared to the surrounding culture.
For me, touch is near-automatic sensory overload. It’s quite startling when I think I have my environment sorted out and then suddenly I have to start processing movement* on my skin. The “violation of personal space” facet stems from that. “Why did you feel entitled overload me halfway to the melting point just to delight your senses and/or social expectations?” I do understand that some people like to hug their friends and can brace myself when I know it’s about to happen. But with people I don’t know as well, it’s hard for me not to take tactile engagement as an intrusion of boundaries. When I’m feeling that overwhelmed, the fact that I am the one reacting inappropriately is seldom the foremost thing in my mind.

*Even if they’re not moving on purpose, there is always subtle stirring presumably beyond the person’s conscious control, unlike if I were to bump into something inanimate. My brain has to process all of that.

By: wolf

wolf — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 19:33:51 +0000

This woories me because i have a far distance relationship with one hese flying down in a year and i dont want to be lonly
Sorry for spelling im dislexic

By: Cat

Cat — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 19:30:38 +0000

Wasn’t sure where to post this question but I’m an NT dating a Aspie adult male and was wondering if the other Aspie’s on this site can give me their opinions on this. Why is touch an action that some Aspie’s do not like? Is it perceived as a violation of personal space? Why does it make the Aspie uncomfortable? Some opinions and/or professional replies would help. Thanks.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 01:27:54 +0000

I never really though about not going out by myself. Though, if there is going to be situations where I have to deal with other people, like clerks casheirs or whatever, I will want someone with me to lead by example, otherwise I tend to get “stuck”.

By: The long dark weekend of the soul « The University of Gav

The long dark weekend of the soul « The University of Gav — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:45:32 +0000

[...] to see a film last night (on my own, perhaps emboldenened by stuff asperger people like’s #24 Dating Themselves, something I have commented on at the bottom of the post) watching Newsnight Review and then [...]

By: Gav Belcher

Gav Belcher — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 22:28:11 +0000

Dated myself for the first time in a while last night. Ok, so I have always done something. Gone out walking on my own listening to audiobooks, hit a hundred balls on the driving range, sat in cafes, and, yes, cinemas, but it was the cinema that I found most problematic in my own home town. Too many people who could see me. Too many people who would have far too much fun talking about having seen me. And so last night, for the first time since when I lived abroad, I went to the cinema alone. I ‘dated’ myself. And it was great. A little bit of awkwardness walking in on my own. A little bit of awkwardness going to the toilet, and worrying if someone might be talking. Awkwardness on misrecognising more or less everybody I have ever known who might see me. But then, I had made a compromise or two. I hadn’t brought my ex military ear defenders so I could read while I was waiting through the ads – I’m exceptionally anal about wasting time – and I had driven out of the way. There was no chance I was going to the local teen trap of a place where everyone from my old work would be far too likely to be. I avoid enough places already, but that was simply not an option.

The film was (500) days of Summer. It was damn funny. I laughed. I had a good night. I got out. Back to watch my favourite programme on TV. With nobody talking through it.

Someday I’ll get back into the world of real people. Sometimes I enjoy that too. But these past few months it’s been for me. And it has been a reprieve. If I do it too long it’ll send me crazy, I don’t doubt, but for the time being it is keeping me sane.

Oh, and Joe a, you’re out of your element…