Comments on: #24 Dating Themselves

By: Cat

Cat — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 19:30:38 +0000

Wasn’t sure where to post this question but I’m an NT dating a Aspie adult male and was wondering if the other Aspie’s on this site can give me their opinions on this. Why is touch an action that some Aspie’s do not like? Is it perceived as a violation of personal space? Why does it make the Aspie uncomfortable? Some opinions and/or professional replies would help. Thanks.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 01:27:54 +0000

I never really though about not going out by myself. Though, if there is going to be situations where I have to deal with other people, like clerks casheirs or whatever, I will want someone with me to lead by example, otherwise I tend to get “stuck”.

By: The long dark weekend of the soul « The University of Gav

The long dark weekend of the soul « The University of Gav — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:45:32 +0000

[...] to see a film last night (on my own, perhaps emboldenened by stuff asperger people like’s #24 Dating Themselves, something I have commented on at the bottom of the post) watching Newsnight Review and then [...]

By: Gav Belcher

Gav Belcher — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 22:28:11 +0000

Dated myself for the first time in a while last night. Ok, so I have always done something. Gone out walking on my own listening to audiobooks, hit a hundred balls on the driving range, sat in cafes, and, yes, cinemas, but it was the cinema that I found most problematic in my own home town. Too many people who could see me. Too many people who would have far too much fun talking about having seen me. And so last night, for the first time since when I lived abroad, I went to the cinema alone. I ‘dated’ myself. And it was great. A little bit of awkwardness walking in on my own. A little bit of awkwardness going to the toilet, and worrying if someone might be talking. Awkwardness on misrecognising more or less everybody I have ever known who might see me. But then, I had made a compromise or two. I hadn’t brought my ex military ear defenders so I could read while I was waiting through the ads – I’m exceptionally anal about wasting time – and I had driven out of the way. There was no chance I was going to the local teen trap of a place where everyone from my old work would be far too likely to be. I avoid enough places already, but that was simply not an option.

The film was (500) days of Summer. It was damn funny. I laughed. I had a good night. I got out. Back to watch my favourite programme on TV. With nobody talking through it.

Someday I’ll get back into the world of real people. Sometimes I enjoy that too. But these past few months it’s been for me. And it has been a reprieve. If I do it too long it’ll send me crazy, I don’t doubt, but for the time being it is keeping me sane.

Oh, and Joe a, you’re out of your element…

By: Miriam

Miriam — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:05:02 +0000

I’ve been dating myself for almost 10 years now – at 15, I’d still rely on other people to come to the movies with me – and I have to say I’m happier than ever.

By: lydia

lydia — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:26:01 +0000

To Joe
Sounds to me like you dated an Asperger who, in the words of a recently made popular movie, “Was Just Not That Into You,” and you’re pissed because they didn’t give you all the excessive time and doting attention that a needy person demands.

By: joe a

joe a — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:36:25 +0000

asperger’s is an explanation, not an excuse.

This sounds like it was written by someone who just watched Good Will Hunting, and missed the point.

By: Jake

Jake — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 09:27:17 +0000

I’ve been going to movies and concerts alone for years.

By: mrmoose

mrmoose — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 01:01:50 +0000

I am married and still vacation by myself.

By: Liz

Liz — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 05:19:08 +0000

This post is eerily accurate. I’ve only recently found out that going to movies and concerts alone was considered weird. Thanks for the last line. Now I know what to say to people asking me that pesky question.