#23 Worrying: Working The Wigdala

Written by SAPL on October 5th, 2008 in Uncategorized.

Have you worked your wigdala today? Sounds strange, I know. Maybe even a little dirty. Allow me to explain with a brief lesson in Neuroscience 101.

The brain is divided into several areas, some of which are more responsible for some activities than others. The cerebellum, for example, coordinates muscle movements, which may lead some Aspies to wonder what the heck happened to theirs as their clumsiness can only leave them to hope for a Forrest Gump-like athleticism. Another area would be the amygdala, which plays a key role in regulating emotions. There is a center of the brain that has become a hot topic in research and will soon generate millions of money that intellectual con-artists known as PhD grant writers with snatch. That area, responsible for the center of worrying in Asperger People, is called the Wigdala.

Asperger people worry a lot. Day in and day out. It’s possible Aspies worry in their sleep as well, but a person’s bedroom activities are a private matter. The Asperger will worry about every anticipated problem or situation that might come up and wonder how on earth they will deal with it. When a solution is not reached, they may worry that it’s taking too long to come up with one. They worry about things might happen, things that might not happen and how to make things happen.

All of these worries and fears result in a super wigdala, or a wigdala on steroids. It has been increased significantly in size from being worked so hard, the Asperger finds himself wigged out (others use the terms physically and emotionally exhausted).

Some neurotypicals might innocently try to calm the Aspie, saying phrases such as, “You know, 99% of the things you worry about don’t come true.” Fantastic! Now the Asperger has more worries to add to the collection: When will the 1% event come true? And which worry is that 1% instance? I wish I knew, so I could think of plan A-ZZZ to conquer it.

It may be argued that what some Asperger people need are slight boost of confidences to remember all the many times they have successfully dealt with any difficult situation that caused anxiety in the past. That right. You own your wigdala; your wigdala does not own you! (Note: This is the point where usually you are asked to send $99.95 for a Wigdala Working Kit, complete with a pamphlet containing testimonials by people who’ve found success with the Wigdala Working Kit, but whose results are not typical.)

Positive Wigdala Working consists of simply remembering the times when the Asperger person showed the wigdala who’s boss. It might help to make a list of those events. And that’s where Microsoft Excel comes in handy. With 65,536 rows and 256 columns, there are a total of 16,777,216 cells in one worksheet! That’s enough cells to document a whopping 3% of a Asperger person’s daily worries and how she successfully, through hair pulling and marathon fatigue at the end of the day, made it through them.

10 Responses to “#23 Worrying: Working The Wigdala”

  1. amy gdala Says:

    i’m worried that it’s not a real word. am i all alone here?

  2. Stuff Asperger People Like Says:

    Amy,

    No, it’s a made up word. It’s supposed to be a sarcastic, humorous way of describing the way Aspies are always worrying-thus getting really emotional at times and “working” the amygdala.

  3. amy gdala Says:

    ah, thanks for the clarification. dang literal mind trippin’ me up again.

  4. MDP Says:

    Thought this was serious 🙁 I was already envisioning how my wigdala could differ from others’ wigdalas. I was also prepared to let the next person I see (that I am socially comfortable with) know about my massive wigdala. lol

  5. Suzanne Says:

    Is this one of those ‘you know you’re an aspire if…’ things? Hands up anyone else who didn’t ‘get’ the made up word thing…

  6. Matt Says:

    Wigdala… I spent 20 minutes Google-ing that. Using sarcasm on an Aspie website is sick and cruel.

  7. Mrs. Yougotme Says:

    Huh. I didn’t realize how stressed out I was about whether Wigdala was really a word or not until Amy gdala said that.

    I was actually worrying about it in the back of my mind!!!

    Holy shit people! We are worry worts!

  8. MikeyG Says:

    again i fail to see how this is exclusive to something with aspergers, just looks like a bash list, might as well call gayness a disorder and list off the negatives about them instead of people who prefer to live a different way than you think is normality

  9. Jo Says:

    I thought it was a new recently-discovered part of the brain!

  10. Just me Says:

    For a moment there, I thought I may actually have a part of my brain that works “properly” Thanks for running it!

Leave a Reply



Site Navigation