#19 Porn As The Special Interest

Written by SAPL on August 24th, 2008 in Hobbies and Special Interests.

In some instances, it seems the Asperger male (or female for that matter), is really no different from the neurotypical after all. The interest in porn is a perfect example. But the Asperger’s interest is not just about getting to rate the boobs of the day. The Asperger will use porn for academic purposes or to obsess with a particular body part that may be a special interest. If there were more doctorate programs in pornography, we’d have more Kinseys than we’d know what to do with. As the Asperger studies porn, he chooses to major in a particular area and ask such deep questions as,”How could a woman have such ripped abs?” if he is into muscular/bodybuilder/he-she like ladies. Some Aspies mistakenly think they can learn about relationships from porn, but soon realize there is nothing further from the truth. How on earth can they get to know each other? There’s never any talking going on in these things.

An HBO movie might incite statements from the neurotypical such as, “No way, man! No one has a penis that big,” or “How would you make a sex toy that big anyway?” This is where the Asperger, armed with all the information he has obtained from studying “101 Factos about sex toys”, comes in to rescue the undereducated and horny neurotypical. “The sex toys are made from molds of an actual penis. There is a clay mix you add water to and stir. It is similar to making dental casts. You can even order them online and mix them in your own kitchen with a regular bowl and spoon.”

At this point in the conversation, the neurotypical men mentally note: Dude, never eat at this guy’s house again!

“Once the mix is complete,” the Asperger continues, “you place the erect penis in the clay, allow it to cool, remove your penis, pour liquid into the mold, and ta da! You have created a dildo.”

The neurotypical men are having an extreme WTF moment now, probably due to both the Asperger’s explanation and the amount of alcohol consumed. This is obviously more than they signed up for when the rented Vicky Vixen. The insecure, jealous, and paranoid neurotypical will start to wonder and be convinced that the only way the Asperger could possibly know all this information is if he is the model on which all sex toys are crafted from. To this speculation, the Asperger will decide that some rumors are best left undenied.

Image: afflsports

17 Responses to “#19 Porn As The Special Interest”

  1. jana Says:

    “Once the mix is complete,” the Asperger continues,….

    OMG, I laughed ’til I was sick! This is your masterpiece so far.

    and “Dude, never eat at this guy’s house again!”….

    These are real concerns the friend of an Aspergerer has to watch out for, you know?

  2. SAPL Says:

    LOL to your comment!

  3. Stuff Asperger People Like » Blog Archive » #32 Jessica Kingsley Publishers Says:

    […] in the boardroom. If that’s the case, red lipstick and stockings might still work. Remember, every Asperger person has their own sexual thing that does it for […]

  4. Jake Says:

    This article is racist towards autistic people.

  5. Ben France Says:

    Very well written post. I recommend this realistic pussy and ass if you want an overwhelming experience. The holes are really realistic and tight and the very real look and feel is, to be honest better than the real thing – it feels like real vaginal and anal sex. Have a look at at http://www.realisticvaginaandass.com – it’s a great price too and well worth it. You won’t need any other male sex toy and it beats any fleshlight or tenga for realism. I think of it all day at work and when I get home I’m eager to use it. Have fun…

  6. Mariam Says:

    Porn actually conflicts with my sense of morality (mentioned in the posting on “honesty”) and therefore I’ve always looked down on the stuff, it IS prostitution! Especially as a chick, I cant seperate from the fact that something incredibly fucked up (probably molestation by someone close early in life) lead these folks to end up doing what they do. A friend got a karma sutra book with positions for their birthday and I analyzed many of the poses as being impractical for enjoyability, either because you would have to have incredible balance or its just generally an comfortable way to be humped.

  7. Michael a Green Says:

    I’m a 51 yr old Aspie man and pretty toenails do it for me. If the womans toes aren’t suckable to me, I can’t get hard. At All!!!! I’ve been this way All my Life. If I don’t have a girl by late Sept., I have to wait until April, when sandal weather comes to date.

  8. Bryan Says:

    At the end of the make-your-own dildo speech, the neurotypical women will try to get your number–or at least a few of them did when I happened to do that particular thing.

  9. Nathan Says:

    I understand what you mean about specific parts becoming most interesting. For me I find ejaculation and semen to be fascinating and more sexy than any other part of men. I am an aspie too.

  10. B Says:

    Oh my God, I used to work at this bar, and most of the girls turned into porn stars, so I can’t even look at Penthouse without going, oh my God, that’s what she’s up to. So as an Aspie girl that worked, messed around, and knows the porn star, I can say, that porn is over rated. It was always interesting to show or go to the porn shoots and have someone ask, well, how did my orgasm sound, and having to answer very truthfully, which is why I was always invited.

  11. Regulus Says:

    I actually like that picture of the girl laying on the random access memory cards

  12. MikeyG Says:

    Now youre attacking porn? this author is so fucking vapid

  13. Just me Says:

    Why all the old edo ram?

  14. clueless Says:

    my aspie lover was a virgin when we met and has not had another lover aside from me. we have been on and off for a few years. i know he loves me (female) but he jerks off to images of men and gay porn. any insight?

  15. Asperguy Says:

    I am a male aspie and my wife is also an aspie. The funny thing is, she bought me one of those mold kits so she could have a replica of my erect penis when she would masturbate. The kit worked quite well, and made an exact duplicate with a somewhat realistic feel to it. She swears by it when she masturbates, and has mentioned many times it is the next best thing to me. We have since made several more, and, in true aspie fashion, I modified a Rabbit style thrusting vibrator, (took the innards out and modified the molded replica of my penis) so now she has a great Rabbit style vibrator with all the functions but the penis part is shaped just like mine. All the settings work and the rabbit ear section works just as it did before I made the modifications. If you are an aspie with a girlfriend/wife, or even a female aspie, and sex or sex toys are one of your special interests, this is a really cool project that with enough research and persistence (not difficult if you are an aspie) is fairly easy to accomplish. Your girlfriend/wife (or you, the female aspie) will love it to death and probably wear it out. She said she loves it so much because she feels like she is masturbating with a part of me instead of something made from some other random person’s mold. =)

  16. Violet Says:

    I actually have a really bad association with porn (from discovering it during innocent web surfing right at the same time I became a large-chested blonde preteen–That messed me up for years!), but thank you for the idea about the sex toys. If I ever get married (which is a very promising strategy for someone with executive functioning problems like mine) I will feel much better morally about using marital aids based on my own husband’s body. It may not ever come up, depending on the sort of man who will take me, but just in case…thanks again. 🙂

    P.S. @Mariam–That too.

  17. Jess Says:

    Absolutely hillarious! Very true.. We’re that technical/ explicative… and yes my pleasure is worth hardcore research (which I love anyways). 🙂

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