I hate food. It is the most pointless frustrating, guilt laden pos on the planet.

It’s messy to make, it’s messy to clean up, it’s messy to eat, it’s messy to shop for, it’s messy to keep in the house, and it goes bad too fast!

I’ve had multiple times in my life where I’ll pick ONE THING and STICK TO IT.

For about six months, it was a specific brand of chocolate bar because I could walk in, grab it, walk out, could stuff the empty wrapper in my pocket without it gooping my pockets up, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about eating for awhile. I also couldn’t over eat because there was a pace. Only eat one chocolate bar per hunger moment. No other math involved. No emotional eating. No shame-on-you-you-ate-too-much.

I’ve also done that with ramen and trail mix.

I’ve been overweight my entire life until finding out I’m gluten intolerant. That’s let me lose a lot of weight.

I love being ‘gluten intolerant’. It takes all the guilt out of picking the wrong food out of picking foods. “Here’s a giant menu with eighty zillion things on it for eighty zillion prices. Do you pick the cheapest one, the one with the most meat, the one that you picked last time, something you haven’t eaten, or what? What do you pick?!”

Hey, I’m gluten intolerant. SWEET! Of the 3 foods at this restaurant I can eat, which one is cheapest? Okay, go with that one. Problem solved!

I also hate hate hate hate hate the texture of soap, and the smell, and often the look, and everybody’s always been like ‘you’re a horrible person!!’ I wash in the shower with shampoo because shampoo doesn’t look or smell the same, (and it’s a specific brand of that, too….) and vinegar because it doesn’t look or smell the same.

That makes washing dishes impossible. I. Will not. Wash. Dishes. Ever. Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.

Which makes cooking at home really hard.

People are like ‘why do you eat out of a can?” It’s faster, easier, portioned already, and doesn’t require washing? Duh. Why do you take the time to dump it into a bowl, dirty the bowl, heat it in the microwave, sit down, and eat it? Don’t you have a life?!

When I can pick a point to it, such as “oh hey, for formal occasion X, the point of the event is to make the food look pretty” then I’m fine. I can actually cook… I just tell people I can’t so they leave me alone. Frankly, there are too many food options!!!

And I’m always worrying about what’s ‘right’ to eat. I love having a gluten intolerance. It makes life SO MUCH EASIER!!

I make people shop for me because I can’t shop. I Do. Not. Know. What. To. Get. Shopping is hell.

I also noticed on the clothes… Yeah, I do that. I’ve tried not to, and I’m at the point where if I had the money, I could go get ‘decent’ clothes, but I want clothes with pockets that are functional.

Women’s clothes SUCK when it comes to functionality. > <

This makes so much sense.